Underneath
underneath
i am searching
for the catch in your words,
the hook in your line,
the meaning underneath
a sugar-sweet smile,
a ghost of a touch,
a little bit of kindness.
i’ve had no luck yet,
but it’s too good to be true,
in your eyes i’m porcelain,
a toy to hold, to play with,
to use until worn and broken.
and yet i find myself always
wandering back; out of what?
intrigue? wanting? desperation?
regardless, i fall, and
always take the bait,
savoring the taste of honey
and a cherry-lipped smile.
but arsenic blooms on my tongue
and a gag is torn out of my lips.
i stumble back.
you are dangerous.
a toxin to my fragile mind,
seeping through my veins
in a thick, dark plume, ink to water.
these fantasies consume me,
but are always indulged.
there has to be a catch, a hook
right? something more underneath?
it’s never so simple.
but maybe there is no hidden meaning
and i am searching for something,
someone,
that was never there.